FNM’s Big Hits


Some press conferences are harder than others…
“The Weiner Of Brett”

I bet you know eggsactly what this song is about.

Chris is getting MARRIED!!
Steph Is Back!

We tried to vote her off the island while she was away, but her fans proved to be many and rabid.

See Some ID

We got to talkin’ about this guy who divorced his wife after getting a look at her driver’s license and realizing she was 11 years his senior… who doesn’t look at someone’s ID before they get married??

Booty Butt Wiper

We got into a discussion of whether or not you could wipe your significant other’s bottom if they became incapacitated… Ken said reluctantly he would, because ya just have to. And this song resulted.

Don’t Stop Divorcin’

7  divorces? REALLY??

Livin’ La Gayda Loca

Rhymes with “shock”.

Jesse’s Girls

First Tiger, now biker. Shame on you for throwing Hollywood royalty aside for a sluttier ride.

Mr. Brees

Our tribute to the man who brought the Lombardi trophy home to New Orleans.

Screw You Las Vegas

Alright, we get it… he didn’t mean to single us out… AGAIN… but he never says “Don’t go to Orlando,” now, does he?


Well, we learned that “Sakakawea” (the Indian maiden who guided Lewis & Clark across America) is really pronounced “SaCOCKawea.” Who knew.


A listener called with an impression of Steph’s laugh… and Chris thought her laugh needed some kind of tribute. Ken needed no more prompting than that…

Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty… and guilty.
Steph and sister Tori got all dolled-up last night for the grand opening of Aria at CityCenter… but were turned away at the valet!
Nothing says the holidays like living in the dog house.
Steph let slip this morning that, while she rarely goes to movies, sometimes she keeps herself (and Brad) entertained in a most provocative way! Chris asked if Brad ever punches a hole in the bottom of the popcorn box, and Steph just laughed lustily (sigh).
So long, “Jordato”! John Fredericks, former beloved Las Vegas meteorologist-turned-stalker is heading to North Carolina to stalk that moronic pageant girl (from neighboring South Carolina). Best of luck…
The drink that Andre Agassi would endorse, if it would make him as much money as doing trailer drugs and admitting it in a tell-all book.
Edgar Winter meets Gene Wilder in a classic mash-up that has become a Halloween standard, at least at Ken’s house.
The Raider Smash!!
Much like the previous, A Halloween classic, except for the Raiders, the scares go on all season! Click here for the Top 10 Reasons the Raiders SUCK (it’s documented!).
Learning To Nap
A song about what we first thought those Northwest pilots were doing up there. Turns out they were on their laptops, which was better than the second thing we thought… mile high club…
I Am the Wallofpie
Steph’s recent camping trip, set to music.
Those poor bears!
Michael Vick Speaks
An exclusive FNM interview with the NFL player dogs love to bite.
It’s crunchy! It’s cruelty! It’s VIX, the new cereal from the makers of that cereal Terrell Owens came up with.
They Are Family
As close as MacKenzie Phillips and her dad look in this picture, we found out they were a LOT closer. Eech.

Exploding iPhones?  There’s an app for that.

Remember all that heat this past Summer? We remembered it in song…
Everybody Must Get Booked
Long Branch, N.J., police officer Kristie Buble, left, says she never heard of Bob Dylan, so she arrested him for wandering the street. Blame the parents.
 Oxi Clean with Coki Caine
Billy Mays, here… with a product he never got to sell. He was too busy using it.
Talkin’ In The Bathroom
Like the song says, “I just don’t think ya oughta
conversate while ya poo!”
Swine Flu PSA
Ken recorded this public service announcement as a joke, about a month before he actually contracted the H1N1. You can bet you won’t hear him crack any jokes about syphilis anytime soon…

When Michael and Farrah Fawcett died on the same day, poor Farrah got short-changed in the press…